Embrace Your “Hard”

We tend to believe that, after the relative ease and freedom of childhood and adolescence, life will get increasingly complicated by career, marriage, home ownership, parenthood, and retirement planning. During those years, we often find ourselves longing for the yesterdays that were so carefree or the tomorrows when our current struggles will have dissipated. The contented years of retirement offer the constant “beacon of hope” at the end of the endurance test that is mid-life.
But we find that, no matter what the stage of life, we never quite seem to stop longing for the past or dreaming of the future. Our present rarely seems wholly satisfactory. Why is that? Life’s challenges never totally disappear. Every period in life offers its struggles. So where is the peace and contentment we always seem to long for?
The most straightforward (and simplest, really) path towards satisfaction and contentment is to accept that one simple fact – life means challenge. It is real. It is ever-present. It is unavoidable. Life is not a 40-50 year uphill struggle to a plateau of “free and easy”, of great times uncomplicated by problems or issues. Life is more of a relatively bumpy road with straight, smooth patches but the inevitable wide curves and speed bumps.
On the TV show The Kominsky Method, the character Norman, who is enduring the grief of having lost his wife, exclaims, “Being hurt and being human are the same damn thing.” I believe that. Pain, frustration, disappointment, loss – they are all part of the human condition, along with joy, happiness, success, gain.
But the struggles are real – ever-present or ever-lurking. Yet they represent our best opportunities to grow, to become strong and resilient, to feel compassion and empathy, and to find true meaning in life. So we must embrace our “hard”, accept the reality that life’s struggles actually make life more worth living.